Interesting Times
by Drax99
Summary: There is an old chinese blessing, "May you live in interesting times." It is also considered a curse. I guess it all depends on what you consider "interesting." Hopping from world to world, always trapped in the body of a local resident, certainly is interesting, especially when I land in the already crowded body of a cartoon pony.
1. A Gift, and a Blessing

"I swear to whatever gods are listening, that I will never make fun of hobbits again." I panted as I tried to catch my breath. The journey across the cursed land of Mordor, sneaking past orc patrols, and finally climbing Mount Doom had taken every ounce of energy and determination this body had. I used to think of the little bastards as gay couch potatoes, and often make fun of how I had seen them in movies. Now, I had a newfound respect for what Frodo and Sam went through to reach their goal.

My everything hurt. The very air burned with every ragged breath I took, both from the sheer heat coming from below, and the cracked ribs I had sustained falling into an abandoned lava tube. I hadn't eaten in over a day, and the last of the water was gone hours ago. Bandages and bruises covered most of my body, and it was only sheer willpower that kept me from passing out. This was not going to end well, but at last, it was going to end!

My goal was in sight, as the dull glow of the magma far below lit the cavern above me. Heat and fatigue painted the world in a kaleidoscope of distorted imagery as I continued my trek onwards. Just a few more feet, and I could toss this damn thing into the cleansing fires, and be free at last. I hoped. It worked for the One Ring, so why wouldn't it work for my own cursed artifact?

Suddenly I heard it. A dull scrape, and a slight wheezing. My blood ran cold, as fear gripped me. No! I was so close. Too close to lose now. I hobbled faster, pushing my broken body well past it's limits as the edge of the pit opened before me. I heard a low growl, and foolishly turned to look behind me. My heart skipped a beat as the dark shape of my antagonist framed the entrance, before darting forward with lightening speed. The Uruk-Hai had been tracking me up the mountain for over a day, and now he found me as I was so close to my goal. His dire wolf mount howled with delight as they closed on me, and I knew I had seconds to finish my task.

Summoning the last of my strength, I bolted for the edge, turning only as I felt my food touch open air. I felt the weightlessness grip me for a moment, before pain erupted in my chest, as the wolf slammed into me as we all went over the edge. I smiled despite my pain, knowing this would finally be the last time, and that even death would not stop me from going home again.

And then I felt it. The static charge, the heat from my chest, the squeezing tightness like I was deep underwater, making my ears pop. I looked down to see the accursed object of my torture glowing. I had miscalculated, and now it was about to take from me my victory.

"No, nonono! Not now, I was so close!" I screamed into the abyss.

"Yes morsssel! We both die!" Growled the beast on top of me, as his mount tried to bite at my throat.

"Nope. Just you, ya ugly bastard!" I yelled in defiance, as the world went sideways, and I jumped again.

Oh, wait, I got ahead of myself didn't I? Time for a little expository backstory. Grab a drink, it''s a doozy! No, go ahead, I'll wait.

* * *

Life was good. I was fresh out of college, a career ahead of me, my girl moving in with me, and about to pay off my car. I had friends, I had money (well, my parents had money), and it was time to celebrate. Five bars, six hours, and uncountable drinks later, most of my friends had either staggered home, or passed out somewhere. While not as epic as the pub crawl in a movie I had seen, it was still pretty damn epic, and there was only one more stop before sunrise. My girl had long ago had her friends take her home to sleep, and it was just me and my best friend at the end of the road.

"You sure this is the place?" At least that's what I heard in my head. I'm sure it came out more like "Dafuq dish shithole?"

My friend, Cho, fortunately was fluent in Drunkanese. He also spoke seven other languages, not a damn one I could make any sense of.

"Ya, my gramps told me bout this place. Real old chinese hoodoo shit. he buys his medicines from this old fart from the old country. Says he's like a million years old, 'n shit." Leaning against a nearby wall, my friend grinned at me, and squinted. Well more than normal.

"And he sell some super chinese energy drink?" I felt the world swaying as I stood perfectly still, and eyed the sign before us. It was all dark and creepy, in some chinese shit I couldn't read. It reminded me of the shop in Gremlins, where the dad found the Mogwai.

"Yesh! He sez it either make you strong, or crazy. Or mebbe crazy strong!" He grinned stupidly at me, and I punched him in the arm.

"Well then, mebbe your skinny, egghead ass can keep up with me after this!" I laughed and made my way inside.

Inside the shop was much like I imagined, with jars and covered cages everywhere. Bottles of every color sat on shelves, all labeled in chinese. It was all surprisingly clean, and well lit, making me feel like I was in a museum, and I did my best not to drunkenly stumble into anything. Towards the back was our goal, a small wooden bar with red cushions to sit on. We both made our way over and had a seat, as the curtains ruffled behind the bar. I heard a voice call something in chinese, looked at my friend for a translation.

"He says he will be right with us." My friend grinned back.

"So should I order the sushi?"

"Sushi is japanese, dumbass. Besides, we are here for drinks." I just rolled my eyes. Cho was so damn easy to tease, and very proud of his heritage.

"Oh, you are american! Very rare that any but chinese come to my shop." An old man, looking right out of kung-fu theater parted the bead curtain. He looked old as time, with bushy white eyebrows and s pointy goatee on the ocean of wrinkles that was his face. The most striking feature, however, was his eyes. One was wide open, and looked to be jaundiced yellow, while the other was squinted almost closed. Even stranger was, I could swear that whenever he blinked, the open eye switched places.

"So what can I get you gentlemen?" He blinked again, and the eyes switched. I was sure of it this time.

Cho rattled off something in chinese, and the old man responded with a surprised retort. They argued back and forth for a moment, before a creepy smile made it's way across the old man's face, revealing crooked teeth, and one overgrown incisor.

"Very well." He stepped back through the curtain, humming something to himself. I smelled strange incense, and heard some popping noises, followed by a flash of light. Finally he came back, with two shot glasses on an ornate golden tray. Setting them before us, he paused to place a third cup, and fill it with tea from a kettle he somehow pulled from the arm of his robe.

"Bad luck to drink alone." he commented at my look.

We all reached for our glasses, and I saw that under Cho and my glass was a golden coin, covered in writing. I looked at Cho, and he just shrugged.

"A gift, and a blessing." the old man replied, and grinned that snaggletooth smile again. Raising his own cup, he intoned, "May you live in interesting times."

"Isn't that also an old chinese curse?" I pondered, as I peered into the shotglass in my hand. Strange rainbow layers seemed to churn and flow without the colors ever blending.

"I guess it depends on who you ask, and what you consider 'Interesting'." Holding his cup out, we all tapped classes, and then drank.

It was actually pretty good. It reminded me of the old "suicide" snowballs I used to order as a kid. One shot of every flavor. It was disgusting, but yummy. I didn't feel much different, and I certainly didn't taste any alcohol. In fact, I seemed to be sobering up faster than normal, and the room was swaying much less.

"So, now what?" I looked over at Cho, who was staring straight ahead, a look of shock on his face. He was holding the coin up, staring at it. "What's up? Something wrong?" He just slowly nodded, never taking his eyes off the golden coin.

I turned to ask our host what was going on, and froze. Now that the alcohol was rapidly burning out of my system, I could more clearly see his face. It had grown longer, and bushier. What I had taken for some costume piece now looked like a set of mismatched horns, and the snaggle tooth was now a large fang. It went well with the massive grin that was on his face as both eyes suddenly opened. Still mismatched, still yellow, and yet now with bright red irises.

"What the fuck?" I gasped.

"Hohoho! And now you get to go on an amazing adventure, my young friend! And as you asked, you will be made stronger for it." He leaned back, and I saw a pair of mismatched wings unfold behind him, while his hands slid out of his sleeves to reveal an equally mismatched pair of animal claws. "You have a nice trip now, mmmkay? We will meet again, when it's all over." He waved happily to me with one great lion paw, as he snapped the fingers on his opposite eagle talon.

And suddenly, the world went sideways.

* * *

Pink. So much pink. Why the bloody hell is everything pink? And why can't I move? **"Oh just fucking great, I'm inside another corpse! Or wait, I can feel a heartbeat... Dammit! I'm in a cripple!"**

"_Who said that? It sounded like a stallion!"_ I heard a female voice question. _"Are you making funny voices again, Surprize?"_

"_What? It wasn't me!"_ another voice chimed in, this one a bit higher pitched, and sounding much more excited. I tried to turn my head, but the body I was in refused to obey me. I felt the eyes blink, and refocused on a large tuft of bright pink hair hanging down in front of my face.

"**Help! I'm trapped and can't move!"** I cried. Or at least, I tried to cry out, only resulting in giving myself a headache.

"_Owie! Not so loud! We can all hear you just fine."_ A third voice chimed in, this one deeper and more sedate. _"Just great, if it wasn't already crowded in here. Girls, I think we have a newcomer."_

"_Ohh! A new one? And this one is a colt too! Yay, I always wanted to pretend to be a colt, and be all manly, with stubble on my chin, and walking funny in the morning as the fillies swoon over my swagger..." _The excitable one babbled on again.

"_Yes, Surprize, we know you are a closet lesbian, that's why we don't let you out on dates."_ The somber one interrupted, thankfully.

"**What the fuck? Where am I? Why can't I see you girls?"** I started to panic. It wasn't my first time being haunted by voices. In one jump, I was actually haunted by the ghost of my host body, who had just died before I popped in. At least that time I could move my body, however, although being stuck in an animated corpse was decidedly not fun. Damn zombie worlds.

"_You're new at this, aren't you? Look up and to your left a little!" _the first voice returned, and I felt the body blink again. Mentally trying to calm myself, I imagined looking up and to my left, as if trying to think up a new idea. Suddenly I saw them, two pink creatures, one bright and the other a darker shade. Floating above them was a white one, with golden hair, all with rounded faces and giant blue eyes. I mentally blinked, and shook my head, but the image remained, like a dream stuck in my head after waking.

"**What the hell is going on? Who are you? What are you?"** I tried again to run away, but the body still refused to respond. I could feel it working, as the lungs brought in air, and the twitch of a pulse revealed a beating heart. I could even feel the warmth of something against my skin.

"_Welcome to my head, silly! You are my new secret friend!"_ The one with the first voice I had heard spoke up. She looked like a color swap of the white creature, with poofy hair and a big smile. She lacked the wings of the blond one though. The third one had a much smaller smile, looking more like a smirk, and her hair was straight and lifeless. It was strange, seeing them like this. It felt like I was looking into a rear view mirror in a car at creatures sitting in the back seat.

"**I'm in your head? What kind of world is this? Is it another computer sim world?"** I remembered the one world where I was stuck as a program in a machine. There were many others like me, and we each took turn controlling the cybernetic creature we worked inside. Definitely one of my stranger hops.

"_I'm Pinkie Pie! These are the other me's, Surprize, and Pinkamina."_ Each waved as they were named. _"You are the new voice in my head, and we all live in Ponyville. Although, I'm not really sure who you are, or how you got here. Usually we can read each other if we try, and know all about each other, but I can't read you." _Rubbing her chin with.. wait, was that a hoof? The other girls nodded in agreement.

"_I'm not really sure what you are either. I mean, I used to have some strange imaginary friends when I was a filly, but you are weirder than them, and they were never really in my head."_ She shrugged.

"_Ooh! So you know what that means?"_ Surprize started bouncing and hovering in the air.

"_Yes, Surprize. We all know about your latent homosexual desires. Give it a rest."_ Pinkamina grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"_What? NO! I meant that we can all throw a party to welcome our new secret friend! Oh, and he can tell us stories about himself, and we can learn who he is instead of sucking it out of his head and knowing it automagically!"_ I mentally blinked, yes that is possible, and stared at the hyperactive creature as she bounce-hover-flipped in the air with her wings. The others rolled their eyes.

"_Surprize, you don't even have anything in your head to suck out."_ Pinkamina drolled.

"_She does have a good idea though. it will be like making a new friend, but in our head!"_ Pinkie Pie bounced, much like Surprize, but without the hovering.

"_Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, although they sometimes call me Pinkie Prime." _She frowned a moment, and then it was gone. _"I'm the original. Surprize is the pegasus over there. She is the fun crazy one, and helps us plan all of our parties! Watch out though, because she's also a master prankster."_ Surprize stuck her tongue out at me in response.

"_The dark one is Pinkamina. She is the smart one, and keeps us from doing really stupid stuff. Although, we don't always listen, and she makes sure to not let us forget it." _Pinkamina just nodded in response.

"**And what are you?"** I pondered.

"_We're ponies!"_ they all chorused.

"**Ugh, I'm in a cartoon world, aren't I? You don't look anything like ponies I've seen before. Ponies are all short, shaggy, and alot more horse-like." **This got some confused looks.

"_Well we assure you, in this world, this is what ponies look like. The question remains, who and what are you?" _Pinkamina cocked an eyebrow at me, and the others just nodded in agreement.

"**My name is Inigo Montoya. I have been many things, but I was originally a human. I'm stuck hopping from world to world, always stuck in the form of a local, although I usually have control of the body."** I shrugged, giving a bit of truth, mixed with a lie. Not my real name of course; I learned the hard way that a real name can sometimes give others power over you. Spend a dozen years trapped in a lamp, and you become a bit more cautious.

"_Ooh, the Spaniard? I love that story!"_ Surprize bounced around on her back hooves, making swishing noises with a sword. Where she got a sword, I have no idea. Then again, we are in a head, so it probably WAS an idea. Literally. The other two just stared at her in confusion, until she noticed and stopped, laughing nervously and tossing the sword aside.

"_Sorry, she does that. She does have a point though. Inigo isn't your real name, is it?"_ Again, the straight face and the raised eyebrow. Damn, smart chicks could be a pain.

"**Well damn, I'm surprised that you heard of that story. It was from my original world, and unfortunately I haven't landed in that story world yet."** I shrugged, but still did not give my real name, hoping they would let the matter drop.

"_Well, to tell the truth, we didn't know the story, but somehow she does, which means now we do. Surprize can sometimes know things that nopony else does, but none of us know why." _Pinkie shrugged.

"How long has she been like this, Dash?" I suddenly heard a new voice. I blinked and refocused my mind to see what was going on outside the body, and saw a blue blur waving around.

"I dunno Twi. I flew by and saw her staring into space like this. I dropped in to say hi, but she hasn't moved a muscle in over twenty minutes!" Another voice responded, a bit more gruffly.

"_Holy horseapples! Who's at the helm?"_ Pinkie Pie cried out.

"_I thought you were, Pinkie! Remember, I got to party last night, so today was your day to run around. Hurry, before Twilight casts something on us, or Dashie thinks we are possessed, or they get Zecora to pour a potion on us, or... mmmph!"_ I heard Surprize get interrupted, and Pinkamina sigh heavily.

"_Get to it, Pinkie."_ Pinkamina grumbled.

"_On it, Cap'n!"_

"Oh, hiya Twilight, hiya Dashie! Are you guys here to look at the, uhh... flowers too? They are just so awesomely pretty this time of year!" I heard Pinkie's voice coming from outside our head, and felt the world a bit more acutely. My sight cleared, as my eyes focused on the two ponies before me, and a kaleidoscope of color assaulted my vision. One was several shades of purple and pink, sporting a horn on her head, while the other was light blue with an impossible rainbow of color flowing off her head and tail. Additionally, I could see wings on her back like Surprize.

"Uhh, Pinkie, those aren't flowers. I think you were staring at a rock." the purple one responded, rolling her eyes.

"Yea, Pinks, you had me kinda worried there. You were acting kinda weird, even for you." rainbow hair chimed in.

"Oh, silly me! You would think I would know what a rock looks like, growing up on a rock farm and all. I guess I just got a bit distracted, and lost in my thoughts." a grin spread across my face, and I wanted to chuckle at the horrible acting that I was being subjected to.

"You have thoughts? I thought it was all balloons and streamers in your head!" The blue mare snickered, before getting kicked by her friend.

"Rainbow Dash, that is not nice! We both know Pinkie is a very smart and thoughtful mare, even if she is a little.. random." Twi chastised the other pony.

"Aww relax Twilight. She knows I'm just pullin her chain. We cool, right Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow Dash held out a hoof, and I felt Pinkie bump it with her own.

"Yupperooni! We are BPFFs! And my head is usually full of balloons, and streamers. Oh, and cupcakes, and parties, and frosting! Mmmmm... Creamy frosting!" I felt warm drool drip down my face as my eyes unfocused. Mentally, me and the others were laughing our asses off at the performance Pinkie was putting on. If she acted this weird all the time, it was no wonder her friends didn't know she was crazy.

"_Hey! We are not crazy!"_ Surprize pouted.

"_Oops, you heard that?"_ I cringed.

"_Technically, we are crazy. Dissociative Identity Disorder is a well documented psychological condition and would most likely have us committed, and well medicated if anypony found out. So we hide it. And yes, when you project out loud like that, we can hear you loud and clear. Rule one of multiple personalities: They can hear you just fine without talking, so keep your mouth shut."_ Pinkamina gave me a reproachful glare, and I mentally blushed.

"**Oh, uh... sorry?"** I looked back to the action.

"Well if you are sure you are okay, I'll see you tonight at the slumber party." Twilight was pulling away from a hug, as Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"Ehh, I may be there too. Gotta check my work schedule for tomorrow." Dash shrugged, before launching herself into the air.

"Typical Dash. You know she has been looking forward to this all week. Would it hurt her to admit she likes hanging out with her friends and acting like a filly for once?" Twilight chuckled and rolled her eyes. She had pretty purple eyes. Wait, where did that thought come from?

"_Yes, she does..."_ Surprize smiled, her own eyes half lidded, and a goofy grin on her face. "Oh, sorry. That was me."

"**Creepy. Please don't do that again. It's gonna be hard enough sharing a body without sharing a mind."** I sighed. This must be my punishment for all those brains I ate as a zombie. Karma is a bitch.

"_Oh no, the party! We almost forgot about it! Quick, we need to get home and prepare."_ Surprize squealed.

"I gotta get home now, Twilight. Party planning of this magnitude takes some serious effort. I'll see you tonight!" Pinkie grinned and started to bounce off. Yes, she literally bounced as she moved, like a cartoon tiger.

"But Pinkie, I already have the party planned out!" I heard Twilight call out as I moved away, but Pinkie wasn't listening, and ignored it. And off we went to our new home.

Well, it was new to me.


	2. Truth or Dare

"**So let me get this straight. You live in a gingerbread house?"** I was rather amused by the pony architecture. It was a mixture of high fantasy, and old middle english. Lots of thatch and plaster, and brightly colored enough to hurt the eyes. The ponies themselves were equally as colorful, with no rhyme or reason to their color scheme. But Pinkie's house took the cake, no pun intended. It looked like some abomination from a christmas card brought into the real world.

"Yeah, it's awesome! But you can't eat it." Pinkie sighed. "I tried when I first moved here, and it tastes terrible." The other girls snickered at what must be an old joke.

We were now in her room, which was the very epitome of girlishness, with almost everything decorated in shades of pink, and lace and hearts everywhere. It was as if Barbie had a stroke, and then took up interior design.

"**And does everyone have other people in their heads here?"** I pondered.

"_Nope, just us!"_ Surprize answered, happily.

"_Actually, there are many documented cases, although it is very rare, and there are no known cases where the other personalities are as lucid and independent."_ Pinkamina explained. _"Also, none of them are as self aware, it seems."_

"**Weird. It's definitely a first for me." **Looking outwards, I watched Pinkie bouncing around her room as she prepared for her visit to her friend.

"_So how long have you been traveling between worlds?"_ Surprize asked me. I swear I could even feel her leaning over my shoulder as she talked. It was strange feeling physical contact with something in my head, while also feeling the real world through the body I was in.

"**I lost count long ago. Some worlds I stay on longer than others. Sometimes the coin makes me jump, and other times an accident makes me jump early."** I shuddered at the memories of all the times I died horribly.

"This thing is really cool, and so pretty. Hard to believe it's cursed." Pinkie was holding up the coin that was on a string around my neck. It glistened like the first time I had seen it, still just as unreadable to me, despite having picked up over a hundred languages in my travels. "And nopony else can see it?"

"**Well, most can't. I guess you can because I'm in your body. Usually only very powerful magic users can even detect its presence. Even then, most can't touch it."** I sighed wearily. **"And no matter how I try, I can't get rid of it. I've tossed it into the deepest of oceans, buried it underground, even launched it into the heart of a sun. It always reappears around my neck, or somewhere nearby."**

"_Pinkie, time check!"_ Pinkamina broke in, causing my host's head to snap up toward the clock on the wall.

"Ohmygosh! It's almost time for the party, we gotta get moving!" Pinkie grabbed the last of her party supplies, and threw them into her bags on her back. Sprinting for the door, she was down the stairs and into the street in the space of an eye blink. I would have felt motion sick if I was fully in control of the body at those speeds. In a bound, we made our way down the street, somehow managing to wave and smile at every pony we past, and not even slow down as the houses passes in a blur.

"_Wheeee! This is as much fun as chasing Dashie!"_ Surprize cheered. Pinkamina just shook her head.

Next thing I knew, we were in front of a giant tree, with a door carved into it. Pinkie was tapping a hoof on the portal, and grinning from ear to ear.

"**Holy hell, did we just teleport here? I didn't feel any magic!"** I looked back at the others, who were grinning at me.

"_No magic, just the power of Pinkie!" _Pinkie thought to me._ "If there is a party that needs attending, then this pony is there!"_

The door opened, revealing a small, pudgy lizard creature, resembling a chubby kobold. He was an outlandish purple and green, with wicked green eyes like a cat. His claws were rather well trimmed for such a creature, and he looked at us with a bored expression.

"Oh, hiya Pinkie Pie." Turning, he yelled over his shoulder. "Twilight, Pinkie is here!"

"Let her in, I'll be ready in a minute!" I heard the voice of the purple unicorn from earlier drift from deeper in the room.

"Hiya Spike! Are you staying for the party?" Pinkie bounced and grinned at the little critter.

"Naa. Slumber parties are for girls and stuff. I'm spending the night with Big Mac and the Crusaders. We're gonna camp out in the orchard and tell ghost stories! I even got some marshmallows to roast." Grinning a rather carnivorous smile, he pulled a bag from behind his back.

"Oooh, better not tell Rarity about that!" Pinkie smiled and winked.

"What? Why?" Spike looked confused.

"Oh, nooothing!" Pinkie sang.

"Anyone tell you you are really silly, Pinkie?"

"All the time! I'm so good at it too!" Humming to herself, she bounced into the room, while Spike shook his head and made his way out.

"Hello Pinkie Pie!" Twilight's voice came from the kitchen. "Most of the girls are upstairs. We were just waiting for you and Rainbow Dash."

"Super! That means I'm on time!" Pinkie grinned and bounced her way up the steps. "Hiya girls! Is everypony ready for an awesome slumber party?"

"Oh my, yes! We has such a delightful time at the last one when me and Applejack stayed over." A white unicorn I hadn't met yet flashed a winning smile as she fluttered her eyelashes in the direction of an orange pony wearing a western style cowboy hat.

"_That's Rarity, and Applejack is the orange earth pony. They still won't tell us what happened at that party!"_ Surprize announced from my shoulder. I could feel her chin resting there, and almost felt the tickle of her curly mane on my face. It was bizarre.

"Darn tootin, we had a hay of a good time." Applejack blushed a bit, but smiled back, avoiding Rarity's look. "Ah 'specially loved seeing ya soaking wet from that storm."

"Ahh yes, darling. You do have a way of making a mare wet, don't you?" Rarity retorted, her smile taking on a more predatory look. "Although, I was equally surprised at how well you cleaned up in that delightful dress." This just caused Applejack to sputter, and cover her face with her hat.

"_Yes! I knew it!"_ Cheered Surprize, causing me to flinch away from the sound in my ear. I looked back to see her sticking her tongue out at Pinkamina, who passed her a small pouch that made the telltale clink of coinage. _"Applejack and Rarity sitting in a tree, B-U-C-K-Mmmph!"_

I couldn't help but laugh at the antics, as Pinkamina shoved a hoof in the white mare's mouth. Pinkie joined me by laughing out loud, which caused both Rarity and Applejack to blush, misunderstanding her reaction.

"Well I am just happy to spend a night with my friends." A pastel yellow mare spoke softly. I hadn't even noticed she was there, she was so still and quiet. She had a pair of wings, like Rainbow Dash, and pastel pink hair which she tended to hide behind. She reminded me of some of the shy emo kids back in school, but with far less black makeup and piercings.

"I love my little critter friends so dearly, but they really can be a hoofful at times. Sometimes having some time away is... nice."

"I know what you mean, Fluttershy. I love the twins as if they were my own, but some days I need to get away and decompress. If I had to care for as many animals as you do, they would drive me absolutely batty! Especially the bats." Pinkie smiled at the shy pegasus, and received a warm smile in return.

Suddenly there was tap at the window, before a burst of air heralded the entrance of the blue flier from earlier. The girls all cheered, as she stopped in mid-air to pose, before dropping to the floor and unloading her bags.

"Uhh, Rainbow? Ain't you a bit old to be haulin 'round that stuff? I thought those things were for little foals?" Applejack rolled her eyes and pointed to the blue and gold sleeping bag, and the small plush toy Rainbow Dash was unpacking.

"Are you kidding me? This here is an authentic Wonderbolts sleeping bag, signed by the entire team after I attended the academy. And this!" Picking up the plush, she reverently held it aloft. "This is an hoof stitched, custom plushie of Daring Do, wearing the outfit she wore in the third book, where she had to infiltrate a Nightmare Moon cult. I picked it up at the last DaringCon, and had her sign it herself!" She snuggled the toy lovingly. "Isn't it the cutest?" She gave a very feminine squeal of affection.

"Ahem, yes quite. I'm sure Miss Yearling is quite proud to have fans such as you." Rarity rolled her eyes, and shared a look with Applejack, who was biting down on her hat to keep from laughing.

"Yes, I can see the stitching on the outfit must have taken a long time to do. I have one of Miss Dove's animal plushies myself, and it cost me over four hundred bits." Fluttershy tenderly touched the dolls clothing, and smiled warmly. "This must have cost a fortune!"

Rarity made a disgusted noise at this, while Applejack lost control and started laughing. Pinkie decided to laugh as well for some reason, while I looked back to see Surprize and Pinkamina sharing a bag of popcorn they had gotten from somewhere.

"Oh shut up, Applejack. I know all about that doll your brother plays with. It's not even a collectable!" Dash sneered, causing the orange mare to sober up.

"Now you leave mah bruther outta this! It's got, uhh.. sentimental value, an stuff..." Applejack glared at the blue flier.

"Oh pull-eeeze darling! What it has, is Twilight's scent all over it!" Rarity snarked cattily.

"What has my scent?" Twilight asked as she entered the room, a tray of food and drinks floating behind her in a violet glow.

"_Ooooooh Snap!"_ I heard Pinkie, Surprize, and Pinkamina say at once. Somehow Pinkie had joined the other two eating popcorn, and was slurping from a giant cup with a crazy straw sticking out of it.

"Oh. Um, I meant the room. Yes, dear. The room smells of you." Rarity tried to recover, blushing furiously.

"Oh, sorry, but it is my bedroom after all. I hope it doesn't offend anypony. I know sometimes I forget to shower when I get focused on a study project." Twilight looked dejected, her eats splayed back and her tail drooping as she blushed.

"Oh no, no! I didn't mean to offend, my dearest Twilight!" Rarity backpedaled further. Across the room, Applejack and Dash were grinning with schadenfreude. "It's actually a rather delightful scent, like books and lavender. Very becoming for a young, single librarian." Her smile was brittle, and beads of sweat began to form on her brow.

"Oh, thanks Rarity, that's sweet of you to say!" Twilight hugged her friend, who sighed with relief.

"You go, sexy librarian Twilight!" Cheered Dash.

"Aaand the moment is ruined. Thanks Dash." Twilight deadpanned, stepping away from Rarity to give the pegasus a half lidded glare.

"What? Some ponies are into the sexy librarian look." Dash shrugged. "Myself, I prefer a nice athletic stallion, with some stubble, maybe a mustache. And a whip. Yeah..."

"Your porn stash says otherwise, miss 'Mare of the Month Club'." It was Applejack's turn to deadpan, causing Dash to sputter as the others laughed.

"What? Those weren't mine, I swear! I was, uhh, they were, umm, delivered to me by mistake! Derpy is always bringing me the wrong mail." Dash turned bright red while the rest of her friends snickered.

Okay, okay. We can all talk about Dash's sexual preferences later, it's number fifteen on the list. For now, we have snacks and music!" Twilight pulled out a glowing checklist, and marked off the first item. I blinked as I briefly saw that halfway down, the list did indeed have an item labeled 'Discuss Rainbow Dash's Sex Life'. Right above something about Fluttershy and a sex change? What kind of slumber party was this?

"_Oh she must be using the book I sent her on adult slumber parties! I got is special ordered from this store in Neighpon." _Surprize giggled, getting an eye roll from the other two ponies sharing her head.

* * *

The evening turned into night, and the events went one by the numbers. Twilight was adamant that everything be done according to her checklist. I remember dating a girl like that in college. needless to say it didn't work out. Or, according to her, my inability to reliably follow established and agreed upon procedure to facilitate the smooth operation of a relationship. Yea, screw that.

Or not, as the case turned out.

So the next thing I know, we are in the middle of a game of Truth or Dare. For some reason, Twilight managed to combine it with Spin the Bottle for maximum efficiency, and the turns became random. Meanwhile, the girls sharing headspace with me decided to pull out their own bottle and spun to decide who got to control the body during the party games.

"_Woohoo! Lookatit go!"_ Surprize had ploped what looked alot like an old fashioned coke bottle and started it spinning. From my point of view, all three of the ponies were sitting in a semicircle, with me opposite them. How Pinkie managed to sit with the other two while also controlling the body was beyond me. And yet, there she was as the bottle spun wildly.

"_Okay, here it comes! Moment of truth! Anypony wanna place bets?" _Pinkie grinned as the bottle slowed. I preemptively facepalmed, knowing my past relationship with Murphy's Law was inevitably going to force the bottle to point at me.

"_Yay! Congratulations... uhh. We never did get your real name."_ Pinkie looked at me with one eyebrow raised.

"**John. John Smith."** I replied, keeping my mind closed. It was basically the psychic equivalent of a poker face, and a skill I picked up on a world with mind readers. Thankfully they bought it.

"_Yay! Johnny gets to run things for awhile! Just remember the rules."_ Pinkie suddenly grew somber for the first time.

"_Don't talk out loud to us, we can hear you in our head."_ Pinkamina started to tell me the rules while the others just nodded. _"Never tell anypony about us, or that you hear voices. Always refer to yourself as Pinkie, or Pinkie Pie. Don't make any promises that you can't keep yourself, without asking us first. When your turn is up, you give control over to the next pony."_

I nodded agreement, and they all smiled. **"Now what do I do?"**

"_Just concentrate a bit on moving the body, and you will snap into control. As long as one of us isn't fighting you, it will happen automatically."_ Pinkamina once again was the voice of reason.

"_And remember to have fun!"_ Pinkie chimed in, getting a nod from the others.

I did as instructed, and concentrated on moving my hand. Suddenly there was a tingling in the back of my scalp, like a cold chill, and my eyes unfocused. An instant later they refocused, and my arm moved. The world snapped into focus, and I could feel every little bit of the body, from the fur on the skin to the strange sensation of having hooves. It wasn't the first time I had been a non-human creature, nor the first time having hooves, and yet being a pony was still new to me. I couldn't help but grin as a feeling of happiness settled on me.

And at that moment, the bottle stopped in front of me, and all the other ponies grinned in my direction. "Your turn, Pinkie! Truth, or dare?" Twilight smiled at me.

"Umm, dare?" I responded. I didn't know enough about Pinkie to give any true answers.

"Okay, since I went last I get to give the dare." Rainbow Dash grinned mischievously. "I dare you to... Kiss Twilight!"

"W-what?" Twilight sputtered. "Why me?"

"I dunno, because it would be funny? C'mon, you got me to let Rarity braid my mane! Now it's payback!" Dash was still sporting a rather attractive braid in her rainbow mane, with a cute bow at the end.

Meanwhile, there was a bit of a scuffle going on on Pinkie's head. _"No! She's mine! I wanna kiss her! You know I gotta crush on Twilight."_ Surprize was desperately trying to take control, and didn't even know how to let her.

"_No way, Surprize. Johnny won fair and square, and he gets control until the game is over."_ Pinkie was holding Surprize back, while Pinkamina rolled her eyes.

"_Please Pinkamina, you gotta help me here! I don't even understand why you don't wanna date Twilight too. You are smart like her. You two would make a perfect couple already."_ Begging, Surprize tried to win her sister's approval. _"Imagine how happy we would be with Twilight!"_

"_The problem is, I am not into mares. You are the fillyfooler, not me."_ Pinkamina replied coolly.

"_Don't knock it until you try it!"_ the white mare replied glibly.

"_I was there when you tried it, remember?"_ the darker sister spat.

"_Oh yea, eheh."_ Surprize laughed nervously, and rubbed the back of her head. _"That time in baking camp. I wonder what ever happened to Cream Puff? She was a real cutie!"_

"_I'm sure she grew out of her little experimenting phase and found a nice stallion to ride." _Pinkamina grew positively catty as she glared at the lighter mare.

"_Oh."_ Looking downtrodden, Surprize stared at her hooves.

Meanwhile, the real world was intruding.

"Pinkie? You don't have to if you don't want to." Rarity was looking worried, and Twilight was looking sadly dejected, as I realise I had been staring with a blank look on my face while the other ponies in my head were arguing.

Suddenly, I felt a strange sucking sensation, and my body went numb. I felt a huge grin appear on my face against my will, and I realised that I was no longer in control.

"Pucker up!" Suddenly, we were kissing Twilight with unbridled passion. She froze at first from shock, but then melted into the kiss. I felt hooved tangling in her hair, and checked to see what was happening. I saw Pinkie and Pinkamina staring in shock with their jaws open as Surprize continued to tongue wrestle with the sexy librarian.

I gotta say, it was one of the better kisses I've experienced, even if I wasn't in control. And as soon as it started, it was over.

"Wow. Pinkie, that was... just, wow." Twilight panted breathlessly.

"It's Surprize." Eyes half lidded, we responded. I could hear our our pounding, as we panted for breath ourself.

"What?" the purple mare responded, looking confused.

"Uh, oh. I mean, I was just as surprised as you. It felt good, right?" Surprize's voice sounded plaintive, almost pleading.

"Yes, Pinkie. It was rather nice, and definitely a surprise." Smiling shyly, I could see a blush bloom across her face.

Suddenly, I was back in control, and I noted that the other two sisters were holding the white mare back. Despite this, she had a triumphant grin on her face as she was retrained by the other two, who looked shocked.

"_Get back in there!"_ Pinkamina ordered, looking at me.

And like that, I was looking at a blushing Twilight, who was avoiding eye contact. "Ahah, sorry. I just wanted to know what it was like." I released the flustered mare, and stepped away, blushing furiously myself.

"Whoooo! Go Pinkie Pie!" Rainbow Dash cheered, as the other mares clopped their hooves and cheered me on. Twilight just blushed more and looked away.

"Ahem, so. Um, now who's turn is it?" I asked.

"Spin the bottle to find out!" Applejack replied.

"Oh yeah, silly me. Here we go!" I tried my best to sound like Pinkie, as I tapped the bottle with a hoof, sending it spinning. It whizzed around wildly, until slowing to point once again at me. "Oh crud." I responded.

"Whoh nelly! Pinkie, I think that thar bottle likes ya!" Applejack cheered.

"Ahem. I believe I should ask next, then." Twilight spoke up, swallowing her earlier embarrassment.

I felt sweat starting to bead on my forehead. I wasn't sure I could survive another dare set by these randy mares, especially one set by the pony I had just molested. I made a choice.

"Truth!" I swallowed, hoping that the others could coach me through whatever was asked of me.

"Okay Pinkie Pie. Answer me this: What is the worst thing you have ever done?" Grinning maliciously, I realized I had made the wrong choice. However I was quite prepared to lie.

"Oh, c'mon Twilight? What kinda question is that?" Dash blurted out.

"Really, darling. Dash has a point, this is Pinkie Pie we are talking about." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Her worst thing probably involves burning cupcakes or something."

"Oh that's fine with me. However, to make sure, I am going to cast a truth spell on her." Twilight's grin grew bigger, and I was suddenly reminded of a particular cat on one of the worlds I visited.

"Oh no..." I swallowed. This was not going to end well.

Suddenly I heard the sound of a spell being cast, and felt my body tingle. Looking back at my mental companions, I saw they were all frozen with looks of horror on their faces.

"So, I ask again Pinkie. What is the worst thing that you have ever done?" Twilight asked, her voice silky smooth.

Against my will, I felt my lips moving, and the words escaping them. "Well Twilight, that would be the day that I killed myself."


End file.
